Remembering HIM!

Every year I hope and pray that this day would be easier but it just isnt. It only gets harder! 12 years ago today, my dad passed away from a heart attack. He had coronary artery disease. He kind of brought it on himself with not making good choices in his life at the time. If I had just one wish in this whole world, it would be to have in physcially and mentally here. I know he's watching down on me from above and that one day I'll be able to see him again. I just wish that he was here especially in those hard times that seem to come frequently lately. But lets get down to reality, I'm not gonna get that wish so I gotta keep trekin' on because it's what HE wants. If anyone asks me who my best friend is, it would be my dad! I have had friends come and go but he has ALWAYS been here for me even if he's not physically. [I have to mention that my mom comes in a quick 2nd! lol] I know that with the trials that I have daily, he's holdin my hand to help me get through them. Every year on his birthday and death date, I always do a little somethin to remember him. My mom and I try and spend some time with each other because it's the two hardest days of the year in our lives.

On a totally different note, everytime I talk about my parents to someone I always mention that I look everything like my dad. Honestly, I dont think I really look a lot like my mom, I look more like my dad when he was younger and we have the same facial features. I'm hoping later this year that I'll be changing my last name because I'M NOT AN OLSEN. I'm a Baldwin and that's who I'll always be. Olsen isnt my father's last name so why should I have it? I'm a Baldwin deep down so lets face it, I might as well change my last name to it.

Dad, I miss you like crazy and I think about you everyday. I will never forget you and with every decision I make, I have and always will think about what you would do or say. I love you so much and I know you just want the best for me. I'll try and make you proud dad! Remember, the Lord loves us all and knows what he's doing and only gives us what we CAN handle. I'll see you soon dad!